Tuesday, August 21, 2012

That Skunk Was A Punk!

*Spoiler alert* this story does not have a happy ending...Being a full time animal lover and a part time vegetarian (I can't deny myself lobster while I'm on vacation in Maine) I was the first to run outside when we discovered that there was a skunk stuck in my sister's batting cage net. As my nephew stood on the other side of the net armed with his gun (reminder- we are in Maine) I pleaded with him, tears in my eyes to let me help the little skunk before my nephew took things into his own hands. As my niece followed my instructions and brought me thick gloves to grab the lil guy and pink bedazzled scissors (her idea) to cut the net free, I made my way around the other end of the net to try to get to him and an audience formed. My dad also decided to join in, gun in hand, just in case I couldn't sweet talk my way into the skunk's trustful heart. I was determined to free him, earn my invisible PETA medal and walk home with my head held high. My only obstacle? His nasty little butt and the horrible aroma that could possible protrude out and stain my skin for God knows how long. My boyfriend would love that! As my sister warned me, "he may have rabies!" I made my way, nervously to him on the other side of the net.

As I looked into the eyes of the helpless little skunk, my heart sank. His arm was tangled so bad in the net that unless we had a tranquilizer gun (trust me, I asked my nephew if he did, to which I just got a snicker) I would have to hold down the stinky, rabid skunk. What was I getting myself into? At this point, my pride was the only thing keeping me going. So, I thought I would try to talk to the skunk, human to animal, eye to eye, person trying to save a life to animal that will die. I adjusted my tone a bit, as if I was talking to a baby and started my pep talk. "Hi little guy, it's okay, I'm on your side. I'm not going to hurt you, I'm your friend! Don't spray me buddy, I'm good!" Wishing that he would just give me a thumbs up and sit like a good pet, he made eye contact and did the exact opposite. He turned around and proudly lifted his tail in my direction, aimed and ready to fire. I ran as fast as I could behind the closest tree to dodge the bullet. Now I was trapped. I tried to reason with him again and even warned him that if he didn't listen to me, he was going to have to face my nephew and/or dad but he kept that tail straight up, aimed at me. Frustrated and feeling betrayed, I made my way through the woods, around the batting cage, back into my sister's house. Now I was angry, screaming back at the skunk, "I tried to help you, skunk! I tried but you wouldn't listen!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2GmQNkd1-s

I won't tell you what happened next because I didn't even want to know, but I will say that I resented this little guy for not trusting me- Erin Demchak! I wouldn't hurt a fly! But I also wouldn't risk getting sprayed by a skunk, so maybe I should take the blame. I'll never look at Pepe Le Pew the same again.

1 comment:

  1. Oh my gosh- I love your family! "She's a vegan when she wants to be". LOL!

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