Bringing Back the Fanny Pack

On Sunday I went to the LA Wine Fest with a few friends and if anyone has ever been to a wine tasting, you know that you get tipsy quick. We decided to take the bus there so nobody had to drive and 30 minutes into the ride we were eager to get off...not because it was taking too long, but because of a certain homeless guy who walked aboard and starting causing a havoc. Immediately when he got on, he threw down his belongings (three plastic bags full of more plastic bags) and starting ripping the posters off of the wall. The bus driver wasn't happy and luckily for her, there was a supervisor parked on the side of the road whom she motioned to come aboard. Once he climbed abroad the homeless person asked him if he was Hispanic or Central American then threw his Lunchable to the front of the bus...all I could think of was, 'they still sell Lunchables?" Then I figured he may have been holding onto that one for a while..... As he was being escorted off, he whipped out a package of ranch dressing and started drinking it, spurting out a few profanities and walking off the bus with the supervisor. As funny as that experience was, I wanted some wine!

When we got to the festival, I started to see people with bright neon fanny (or butt) packs with the car service, Über, written on them. I wanted one....now! So my mission began- Operation Butt Pack! Between my wine tastings, I would seek anyone out with a butt pack and ask them where they got it. I got a few rolled eyes and some, "they don't have anymore" but I knew I had to have one. Finally, I found the Uber kiosk and thought I hit the jackpot. But they really were out and even though they loved my enthusiasm, they assured me there was nothing that they could do to help me. I was devastated. I pleaded and begged and finally, out of the blue, like an angel from heaven, a little Asian guy appeared with a box. He nonchalantly opened it, handed me a butt pack and gave me a smile. I screamed, did a dance, strapped it on and promoted the crap out of Über.....I was finally complete. After the hoopla, another guy asked for one and the crew said that the one they gave me was literally the very last one they had. I looked him square in the eye and said, "Jealous?"