Things I Will Never Understand

Why do all Volkswagens smell like crayons? At first I thought it was just my car- maybe my air conditioner had a crayon like smell to it? Nope. The second Volkswagen I got also smelled like crayons…and every other one I have ever met since.

Why when bus drivers and/or motorcyclists see each other on the road they have to wave at each other? I almost feel inclined to wave to other white VW Jetta’s and I once waved at a girl who was wearing the same jacket as me.

Why do I always get scared when someone knocks on my door? Literally, every time. It could be the mailman or UPS driver and I freak out and never answer it. If you are my friend, don’t come by to surprise me. I won’t answer the door.

When did short ‘mom jean’ shorts become so popular? Maybe it is just California but if I see one more girl walking around with the high waisted, camel toe showing ‘mom jean’ shorts on I will scream. And why is it necessary to have your butt cheeks hanging out? I don’t need to see that. Thanks!

How do cruise ships float? Honestly, I don’t think I will ever understand the concept of cruise ships. You are telling me that those boats that carry hundreds of people, restaurants, clubs, rock climbing walls and roller coasters will float in the middle of the ocean? Blows my mind. I can’t even float.

How do fax machines work? Call me old fashioned but I still use a fax machine at work and every time I send something I question how it is going to get to the receiver on the other end of the number I just punched in. I don’t understand.

Why can’t I fall asleep at night before quadruple checking that my alarm clock is set? My alarm clock goes off as scheduled every morning yet I am terrified every night before I doze off that it won’t go off. I literally lie down then get up at least ten times to check that it is set. Do I have OCD?

Why do I get flat tires so much? Most people who I have met in my life have had maybe one or two flat tires in their life. I have had at least four on my current car that I have only owned for about three years. I have had two within weeks of each other and just got one last week while driving home from work. I don’t think my car likes me. (The feeling is mutual).

Why is Kim Kardashian famous?