Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Party Trick Gone Wrong....Part Deux

You know the old saying 'screw me once, shame on you. Screw me twice, shame on me?' Well, in this case it was 'screw up once, shame on the champagne bottle. Screw up twice, shame on me.' I should have learned my lesson not to perform my champagne bottle trick on New Year's Eve (see my previous blog ironically titled 'Party Trick Gone Bad') but I was feeling good that night (and a little drunk) and decided I wanted to show off. I bought a cheap bottle of sparkling wine at Trader Joe's so I didn't have to waste any of the good stuff as we rang in the New Year. In my head, I had it all planned out. The countdown would begin as we all went outside to witness my amazing trick. I would hit my mark just as it turned midnight and everyone would cheer and throw confetti while sipping on champagne. This was the first time anyone I was celebrating with would see me perform my party trick. Anthony has seen it before, but his mom, sister Sarah, brother-in-law Paul, our friends Phil and Ivanna and their three sons would be seeing it for the first time. Talk about pressure! In my defense, it has been a while since I did the trick, it was sparkling wine, not champagne and it was a cheap bottle. (I bet you can see where this story is going). So here we all were, standing outside as we count down the last seconds to 2015...three, two, one! I sliced the blunt end of the knife across the seam of the shaken up bottle, just as I do every time I successfully do this trick. Nothing. I slice it again. Nothing. On the third try, I am getting a little aggravated and thus hit the top a little harder, smashing the bottle in half and spewing glass all over Phil and Ivanna's patio. Dammit! I tried to muster up a smile but I was left speechless, holding the bottom end of the champagne bottle as everyone around me is dying laughing. Trying to convince everyone that I could in fact complete my trick successfully, I looked over to Phil and Ivanna's youngest son, Abram and his upper lip has a speckle of blood on it. He told me that the cork hit him in the lip and I immediately thought I was never going to be invited back to their house ever again. Instead, they let me try my trick one more time (I nailed it on the first try) and Abram asked me to autograph the cork for him. All in all, I think it was a successful New Year's....

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