You know when you just have a
weird day and everything seems to stand out as odd? I recently had one of
those days. I was on my lunch break, walking to Trader Joe’s when I saw a
gentleman getting arrested outside of Peet’s Coffee. He was handcuffed and
being helped into the back of the squad car. It is a little upsetting to see
anyone getting arrested and it left me with a weird feeling in my stomach but I
got an even weirder feeling when I got to Trader Joe’s about fifteen minutes
later. I went to grab a salad out of the refrigerated section and when I turned
around, who was selecting a ‘Very Green Juice’ out of the cooler next to mine?
The guy who I just saw being arrested. And I can confirm that it wasn’t his twin
because I distinctly remember his blue and pink Nike sneakers. Wait a
minute!!!???
Then I got in line to buy my
salad, still scratching my head when the girl behind me asked if she got
cut me in line because she was in a hurry. Sure, not a problem! She then introduced
herself as Danger from Maine and told me a joke. “Why does Snoop Dogg carry an
umbrella? Fo Drizzle!” Who the hell was this chick?
Usually when I get home from
work, I workout and then eat dinner, but since I had missed Breaking Bad that week, I thought I would watch it before I worked
out. Anthony was working late so I had the place to my self. When I walked in
the door, I noticed a few large boxes leaning up against the counter with a
note that said “I hope you like your new bike!” Aww, what a great boyfriend I
had!
Out of love and before I crashed on the couch to watch Breaking Bad, I thought I would finish up a few loads of his laundry, it’s the least I could do. When I opened the dryer and pulled out the dry clothes, I noticed that one of Anthony’s t-shirts was split in half and ripped to shreds. Oh SHIT!!!
I began to freak out,
contemplated searching online to find the exact shirt for him so I could hide
it and then decided to text him and let him know what I had done. I was hoping
he wouldn’t be too mad. While I was waiting for his response text, I changed
into my workout clothes but when I reached down to put on my sneakers, I
noticed something in my shoe. There was a small knife sticking out of it. What the hell?
I
immediately thought that somehow Anthony was watching me and was sending me a
message about ruining his clothes, then my mind went to the episode of Breaking Bad that was paused on my TV
and my heart skipped a beat thinking that Walter White was out to get me. No,
that couldn’t be right. Just as the
beads of sweat started to drip down my forehead, I got a text back from
Anthony, “Hey babe, no you didn’t ruin the shirt, I ripped it in half and
forgot to take it out of the laundry. Did you happen to find the little kitchen
knife? I lost it when I was opening the bike box.” PHEW!
Lately I have been
leaving him these little notes around the house that say, “I love you
because________.” The one I left for him (in his shoe) tonight said, “I love
you because you hide knives in my shoes.”
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