Monday, September 9, 2013

A Day In Erin’s Shoes…Literally

You know when you just have a weird day and everything seems to stand out as odd? I recently had one of those days. I was on my lunch break, walking to Trader Joe’s when I saw a gentleman getting arrested outside of Peet’s Coffee. He was handcuffed and being helped into the back of the squad car. It is a little upsetting to see anyone getting arrested and it left me with a weird feeling in my stomach but I got an even weirder feeling when I got to Trader Joe’s about fifteen minutes later. I went to grab a salad out of the refrigerated section and when I turned around, who was selecting a ‘Very Green Juice’ out of the cooler next to mine? The guy who I just saw being arrested. And I can confirm that it wasn’t his twin because I distinctly remember his blue and pink Nike sneakers. Wait a minute!!!???

Then I got in line to buy my salad, still scratching my head when the girl behind me asked if she got cut me in line because she was in a hurry. Sure, not a problem! She then introduced herself as Danger from Maine and told me a joke. “Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? Fo Drizzle!” Who the hell was this chick?

Usually when I get home from work, I workout and then eat dinner, but since I had missed Breaking Bad that week, I thought I would watch it before I worked out. Anthony was working late so I had the place to my self. When I walked in the door, I noticed a few large boxes leaning up against the counter with a note that said “I hope you like your new bike!” Aww, what a great boyfriend I had! 

Out of love and before I crashed on the couch to watch Breaking Bad, I thought I would finish up a few loads of his laundry, it’s the least I could do. When I opened the dryer and pulled out the dry clothes, I noticed that one of Anthony’s t-shirts was split in half and ripped to shreds. Oh SHIT!!!

 I began to freak out, contemplated searching online to find the exact shirt for him so I could hide it and then decided to text him and let him know what I had done. I was hoping he wouldn’t be too mad. While I was waiting for his response text, I changed into my workout clothes but when I reached down to put on my sneakers, I noticed something in my shoe. There was a small knife sticking out of it. What the hell? 

I immediately thought that somehow Anthony was watching me and was sending me a message about ruining his clothes, then my mind went to the episode of Breaking Bad that was paused on my TV and my heart skipped a beat thinking that Walter White was out to get me. No, that couldn’t be right.  Just as the beads of sweat started to drip down my forehead, I got a text back from Anthony, “Hey babe, no you didn’t ruin the shirt, I ripped it in half and forgot to take it out of the laundry. Did you happen to find the little kitchen knife? I lost it when I was opening the bike box.” PHEW! 

Lately I have been leaving him these little notes around the house that say, “I love you because________.” The one I left for him (in his shoe) tonight said, “I love you because you hide knives in my shoes.”

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