The Bar Is Open......In My Trunk!

Because our parking garage is a few blocks away from our loft downtown, we can't always bring everything into the house after our bi-monthly Costco run. And since I refuse to buy one of those old lady carts to wheel my groceries into my apartment, we usually leave a few non-perishable items in the car and bring them in the next day. Trust me, I have tried to gather and carry EVERYTHING into our place a few times by myself and ended up looking the Jesse and Chester from Dude, Where's My Car? when they were cleaning up the Twins' apartment and drop that damn bottle cap...(Even when using my Click & Carry, Kim!) The other day, we took my newly detailed car to Costco to get some groceries and like usual, left some popcorn, cups, grapefruit and two bottles of vodka in my trunk for me to bring in later. Everything was fine and dandy until I opened my trunk on my lunch break the next day to grab a reusable bag and almost passed out from the overwhelming vodka stench that slapped me in the face. I looked at one of the bottles and noticed that it had completely cracked in half and the entire contents had spilled ALL OVER my trunk (1.75 liters to be exact). What the hell was I supposed to do? And is it bad that I was more upset over the lost vodka than my trunk? They say that there's no use crying over spilled milk but crying over spilled vodka? Perfectly okay!

I tried my best to clean up the shards of glass and sop up the vodka with the blanket that was already soaking wet in my trunk but I couldn't get rid of the smell. When I got in my car to leave work that day and shut the door, it was as if someone put a rag saturated with rubbing alcohol over my mouth and I was about to pass out. I'm pretty sure that if I were to get pulled over I would have gotten a DUI just because the officer would have a hard time ignoring the vodka stench coming from my vehicle. I drove the hour commute home with all my windows and my sunroof open and when I got to my parking garage, I cleaned the trunk again with everything and anything I could find under the sink. But the next morning when I got in my car, the alcohol stench was just as bad as it was the previous day and I got a little lightheaded/drunk immediately. Screw it, I had to drop my car off at the car wash again...there was no other option! When I brought it in that morning, I told the guys that I just had it detailed but an entire bottle of vodka spilled in my trunk so they should just concentrate on that area. They looked at me like I was crazy! When I picked up the car, it was significantly better but now it smells like an alcoholic who is trying to hide the liquor smell with a flowery perfume. After this stint, my car definitely needs to go to rehab.