Bambi On Ice

As you can imagine, when I find myself in these crazy situations, I usually have a sidekick there with me, either laughing or experiencing the moment with me. My hilarious bestie, Beth, not only is one of the greatest storytellers I know, but she also, like me, finds herself in situations and sometimes asks herself, “Who Else But Beth?” Since she may appear in my blog more than one time (her and I have an intense rendition of “Shoop” by Salt-n-Pepa that we like to bust out at parties, weddings, Bar Mitzvahs, etc.) I figured that I would share one of my favorite stories that she has ever told me. 

Beth and her husband, Kris (also one of the funniest people I have ever met), were at The Counter in Century City for dinner on night. The place is usually packed and that night was no exception as there were screaming children, full tables and hustling waiters doing circles around Beth and Kris as they waited to be seated.  Beth had just bought a new pair of adorable strappy wedges and was excited to break them in on date night with her hubby. Once they were seated at the table in the corner behind the column, Kris immediately got occupied by some app on his cell phone as Beth announced that she had to use the restroom.

As Beth began to make her way to the opposite side of the restaurant, weaving her way in and out of the other patrons, she noticed that her shoes were not taking to the floor very well and she began to slip a little with each step. As Beth walked around a certain baby’s high chair (we won’t point any fingers here but let’s just say that a certain mom wasn’t very good at picking up after her baby and there was water and fruit roll-up all over the floor) she began to slide even more and her impromptu “Bambi on Ice” performance at The Counter began.

We have all seen Bambi, correct? Well, picture that scene when he and Thumper take to the ice for the first time and Bambi’s limbs go one way while his body goes another and he can’t regain control as he dramatically crashes, legs sticking out in all directions. Now, picture that but in heels, in a crowded restaurant. Beth’s feet were slipping and sliding all over the slick floor as she was trying to grab onto something to help her with her balance. When she grabbed for a chair, it didn’t stop her, it became a prop in this musical number and went up and over her head as she continued to dance around clumsily. Finally, after what I am sure seemed like a lifetime for Beth, she came to a halt in a half split position, face red, hands clammy and armpits moist with sweat.

Embarrassed and not making eye contact with anyone, she got up and tip toed to the bathroom where she lingered there wondering how she was going to come back out in front of everyone without them noticing that she was the girl who fell. Sneak out a window? Do the Army crawl? Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak? Beat up the girl in the stall next to her, tie her up and steal her clothes? Unfortunately, none of those options were appropriate or available, so she had to put on her big girl face and walk out, acting like nothing happened. She felt the stares and saw the head turns when she came out of the restroom but carefully half marched, half tiptoed her way back to the comforting arms of her husband where for sure she would be consoled. When she sat down at their table, happy to be in the ‘safe zone’ but still mortified, Kris looked up from his phone and said, “Babe, did you see Facebook is down another ten points today?” Yup, out of everyone in the restaurant, the only person who didn’t have the pleasure of seeing “Bambi on Ice” was Beth’s husband. Figures!