Park Ranger To The Rescue

There are certain occupations that as much as they are valid, admirable jobs, it is rare that you come across people in life who have those certain jobs. Hence, I always say that those occupations are not real jobs (only in the “what I want to be when I grow up” books). For instance- pilots, astronauts, cobblers, lifeguards, blacksmiths and park rangers. Well, I definitely changed my mind one day on a hike at Griffith Park. I used to frequent the park after work and hike for about an hour, just before the sun went down. It was beautiful, scenic and an amazing calorie burner. One day after I parked my car, I went into my trunk to get my iPod and my phone, shut it, and realized that my keys were locked in my trunk. Due to a drunken night a few years back and my lack of extra funds to pay almost $200 to get a spare key made (damn you Volkswagen) I only had one key, and of course I didn’t have AAA at this moment. I panicked for a minute, thought about just going on the hike and dealing with it later, then decided to go ask for help. I stumbled upon a Park Ranger station (sans Yogi and Booboo Bear) and found a few of the rangers washing their truck. I told them about my situation and one of them decided he would help me out. I mean, what else where they busy with? Confiscating picnic baskets from bears? He met me at my car, pulled out his tools and attempted to unlock my car door. After about an hour, his hand was getting sore and we were running out of things to talk about. This better work, I had no other options! Just when the Park Ranger was about to give up- pop! Jorja decided to be on my side for once and allow the nice Park Ranger to unlock her door. Success! And now I know, ‘Yes Erin, there is a Park Ranger!’

Too Tan Or Not Too Tan?

Like most people, my skin is sensitive, uneven in some spots and loves to turn red when I am working out, hot or embarrassed. That is why, my friends, I am obsessed with sunless tanning. Not only does it make my skin glow, but I feel skinnier because tan fat is better than white fat. Even with all of those stated ‘ups’, it does unfortunately have its ‘downs’ as well. My boyfriend has a white duvet comforter and since I sleep over his house practically every night, I am forced to wash it at about once a week because my bronzer loves to rub off while I sleep. I try to reckon with him and say, “wouldn’t you rather have a hot, tan girlfriend?” He usually says he would rather have a clean white comforter. Ugggg! Another down? The act of actually going into the freezing cold booth (I swear I immediately have to pee every time) and getting sprayed. I try and take all the precautions though, to be safe, and make sure I don’t ingest the DHA in the sunless tanning solution. I even put nose plugs and ear plugs in and hold my breath the ENTIRE time, leaving me very woozy but with iron lungs. When asked why I feel the need to tan, my answer is usually “my boyfriend is Puerto Rican and my roommate is black, I have to keep up somehow!”

Is That a Flask in Your Bag or Are You Happy to See Me?

Testicles, spectacles, wallet and watch- check! Guys, you are ready to head out the door...and for the ladies- wallet, cell phone, lip gloss, compact, gum, flask? Yup, that's right, flask! Not that I take it everywhere I go- hello AA! But I do like to pinch some pennies and save a few bucks when I can by providing my own alcohol in certain situations. Like at the movies, or Hollywood clubs, or Stagecoach, or the LA Fair, or just about anywhere that could be more fun when fueled with alcohol and when I don't have to drive. The best part about smuggling a flask anywhere is that moment when you know you got away with it (Beth and I even have a little dance we do once we cross into the safety zone). The worst part? Actually smuggling it in. Last year, I bought a disposable flask for my boyfriend and it was probably the best purchase I have ever made. So, I bought one for myself and made my friend Beth get one too. It's a silver, fold-able and undetectable (no metal) flask that fits anywhere! You can put it in your boot, your hat, your purse and even your pants (causing you to have a little bit of a gut, but it's an instantly removable gut nonetheless). The last two years when Beth and I went to Stagecoach (the country music version of Coachella) we managed to smuggle the flasks through the intense purse search/pat down/metal detector entrance to the festival by shoving these wonders down our pants or in between our boobs. Call us crazy but we saved about $50 each that weekend! The only shameful part about smuggling flasks is when you forgot it was in your purse from the night before and you get to work and see it next to your work keys at 7:00 am....oops! Yes, that has happened to me.