Monday, April 28, 2014

Some Deals Aren't Always The Best Deals

Before I left for Stagecoach on Friday, I had to get a spray tan because I'm not going to be that cowgirl in the desert sporting pasty legs in my jean shorts! I bought a deal on Lifebooker at a tanning salon near the Beverly Center for only $17 and figured I would give it a go. For that price, what could go wrong? Well, where do I start? When I arrived at the salon, I had no choice but to stand in the doorway while I waited for my appointment because there was no where else to go. The salon was simply one skinny hallway with two hair stations (?), a desk, a bathroom and a curtain. I waited while the technician finished up the girl behind the curtain (it was exactly like the Wizard of Oz) even though I was on time for my appointment.

The girl came out behind the curtain in a towel and went into the bathroom to change while the technician told me I would be able to change once that girl came out. Oh boy! In most salons that I went to, every person got their own room but I'm not going to be a snob here for $17. So once that chick emerged from the tiny bathroom, I went in to change. I was told to get naked and put on the towel that was hanging behind the door and a shower cap that was in the basket on the back of the toilet. I did what I was told even though the towel was already stained with bronzer and the shower caps were all also brown with bronzer. $17 Erin, $17. Once I stepped out of the bathroom, I asked the technician where I should leave my purse and she told me I could leave it in the bathroom. Right when I stepped out into the salon, a lady in a towel came out of no where and went into the bathroom to change...with my purse. I thought it was a little strange but considering I could see the entire salon from behind the curtain, I figured it would be okay. I took my towel off behind the curtain and waited for my girl to mix up the solution. She stepped to the side of the curtain, opened the back door to the alley and began to mix up my solution on top of the dumpster in the alley. What the hell was going on?

Once she was ready to begin spraying me, I was happy to see that she knew what she was doing and even though I was being sprayed behind a curtain positioned in an odd spot in this salon, I would at least get a good glow out of this. I stepped up onto the platform (I swear it was an aerobic step covered with a towel) being cautious that I didn't touch the wet, bronze slicked wall directly behind me and positioned my body as told in odd puppet like positions so she could reach every spot evenly. When she was done, she told me to go into the bathroom to dry off and I was happy to say that my purse was still there in one piece. She turned on the dusty box fan (there was seriously three inches of dust on every blade on that thing) that was sitting on an unstable Ikea nightstand and told me to dry off for about 5 minutes. Once she shut the door, I busted out laughing because when she turned on the fan, the nightstand started rattling uncontrollably and I was wondering how the hell I was going to dry my legs. I stood there naked, in front of the rattling dust mite of a fan in the salon bathroom bending up and down and turning around and around, lifting one leg at a time then one arm and then other (I'm pretty sure I made up a dance routine) until I thought I was dry enough to get the hell out of there. I got dressed, shut off the fan and walked straight to my car...I did tip her $4 on the way out though, hoping that she would put that money towards a new fan.

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