One of my personal mottos is ‘Live life to the fullest’ and
if you also live that way, I advise you to visit the Playboy Mansion at least once before
you die. I was lucky enough (or was I?) to visit Hugh Hefner’s pad twice in
my life. The first time was to attend the Kandyland Party and the second was to
deal poker at a charity event. I’m sure you can guess which time was my favorite
though. Obviously, the party where I didn’t actually have to work! The whole
process to ‘apply’ to be a guest at the party (unless you paid a
ridiculous amount of money for a ticket) was a bit self-deprecating, but worth
it nonetheless. You had to submit a picture of yourself (clearly the bigger the
cleavage, the bigger the chance) and tell them what kind of candy you would be. It think I said something like a Skittle
because I was bright and playful…that’s the best I could do without feeling
creeped out. Then, once they reviewed everyone the lucky girls would get an
acceptance email and would be asked to donate $25 to some charity and you
were in! My friend Mary and I went through the process, waited for our
acceptance letters (it was like college all over again) and finally we were
both accepted!! University of Skimpy Lingerie, here we come! : )
On the night of the event, we got dressed in our brightest
lingerie, chugged a few confidence shots of tequila and took a cab to the random
parking garage in Century City where the shuttles would depart from. It was
very strange considering that during the day, Century City was a bustling corporate atmosphere
and now it was full of wandering party-goers. Once we got to the said parking
garage, we got in line, checked in, got our bracelets (they were similar to
electronic devices that actually scanned and displayed our identity) and
boarded the shuttle to the Mansion. This was no joke! I assume it is easier to
get into the White House. The excitement was overflowing on the shuttles as
almost everyone was checking off an item on their Bucket List and when we
arrived, it got silent. We were actually there!!!! Let the party begin!
I’m going to take you on a little side note for a minute and bring
you back a few weeks when I was at the Century City mall with my friend Beth. I
was wearing my fake, black framed ‘dorky’ glasses and as we headed up the escalator
to the movie theater, I spotted Lil Romeo (the rapper who was currently on Dancing With the Stars) by one of the
kiosks. He turned to me and commented on how much he liked my glasses and of
course I got all giddy. He may have been almost a decade younger than me but he
was adorable ( and I was single at this point in time mind you)! The next evening
while I was watching him on Dancing With
the Stars, he wore the same glasses he saw me in and I was convinced that
he was sending me a message.
Cut to a few months later at the Playboy mansion when we
were all partied out and ready to head home when I spotted who else but Lil
Romeo outside while we were waiting in line for the shuttle. Because I was a
little tipsy and had all the confidence in the world, I walked right up to him
and told him that I was the girl in the glasses at the mall. Like he
remembered, right? Well apparently he did and he asked if I
wanted to hang out. At this point Mary was headed back home so I dragged our
other friend that we were with by my side and told him we would love to hang
out! Screw the shuttle, we were hopping in Lil Romeo’s blacked out Suburban
with a few of his buddies and some other random girls. I hopped in the back
with Romeo (I decided to drop the ‘Lil’ at this point since we were buddies)
and his driver took us to his house in Calabasas…and by house, I mean mansion-
he was the son of Master P after all! Did I mention we totally made out in the
back of the Suburban? Anyways, after a few hours of partying, I passed out in
his bed (ALONE) and was awakened when he came into the room saying everyone had
to leave because his grandpa was coming over. Big Romeo? I woke up so confused
as to where I was and why his grandpa would be coming over at 5:00 in the
morning but we all grabbed our things and piled back into the Suburban. I was
freezing at this point because we were all still in our lingerie, so I
swiped a Nike hoodie from his bedroom (I still have it to this day, thank you
very much) and we headed back to Century City to that random parking garage. It
was the worst walk of shame I have ever experienced as we hailed a cab at 6:00 in the morning back to my apartment.
I think I texted back and forth with Lil Romeo once or
twice and that was it. Occasionally I will see him on a billboard or an ICDC
College commercial rapping his little heart out (I die laughing) but other than
that our relationship was over. But my one night of being ‘Big Juliet’ will
live in infamy with my family and friends.
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