Wednesday, May 14, 2014
Just Call Me Big Juliet...
One of my personal mottos is ‘Live life to the fullest’ and if you also live that way, I advise you to visit the Playboy Mansion at least once before you die. I was lucky enough (or was I?) to visit Hugh Hefner’s pad twice in my life. The first time was to attend the Kandyland Party and the second was to deal poker at a charity event. I’m sure you can guess which time was my favorite though. Obviously, the party where I didn’t actually have to work! The whole process to ‘apply’ to be a guest at the party (unless you paid a ridiculous amount of money for a ticket) was a bit self-deprecating, but worth it nonetheless. You had to submit a picture of yourself (clearly the bigger the cleavage, the bigger the chance) and tell them what kind of candy you would be. It think I said something like a Skittle because I was bright and playful…that’s the best I could do without feeling creeped out. Then, once they reviewed everyone the lucky girls would get an acceptance email and would be asked to donate $25 to some charity and you were in! My friend Mary and I went through the process, waited for our acceptance letters (it was like college all over again) and finally we were both accepted!! University of Skimpy Lingerie, here we come! : )
On the night of the event, we got dressed in our brightest lingerie, chugged a few confidence shots of tequila and took a cab to the random parking garage in Century City where the shuttles would depart from. It was very strange considering that during the day, Century City was a bustling corporate atmosphere and now it was full of wandering party-goers. Once we got to the said parking garage, we got in line, checked in, got our bracelets (they were similar to electronic devices that actually scanned and displayed our identity) and boarded the shuttle to the Mansion. This was no joke! I assume it is easier to get into the White House. The excitement was overflowing on the shuttles as almost everyone was checking off an item on their Bucket List and when we arrived, it got silent. We were actually there!!!! Let the party begin!
I’m going to take you on a little side note for a minute and bring you back a few weeks when I was at the Century City mall with my friend Beth. I was wearing my fake, black framed ‘dorky’ glasses and as we headed up the escalator to the movie theater, I spotted Lil Romeo (the rapper who was currently on Dancing With the Stars) by one of the kiosks. He turned to me and commented on how much he liked my glasses and of course I got all giddy. He may have been almost a decade younger than me but he was adorable ( and I was single at this point in time mind you)! The next evening while I was watching him on Dancing With the Stars, he wore the same glasses he saw me in and I was convinced that he was sending me a message.
Cut to a few months later at the Playboy mansion when we were all partied out and ready to head home when I spotted who else but Lil Romeo outside while we were waiting in line for the shuttle. Because I was a little tipsy and had all the confidence in the world, I walked right up to him and told him that I was the girl in the glasses at the mall. Like he remembered, right? Well apparently he did and he asked if I wanted to hang out. At this point Mary was headed back home so I dragged our other friend that we were with by my side and told him we would love to hang out! Screw the shuttle, we were hopping in Lil Romeo’s blacked out Suburban with a few of his buddies and some other random girls. I hopped in the back with Romeo (I decided to drop the ‘Lil’ at this point since we were buddies) and his driver took us to his house in Calabasas…and by house, I mean mansion- he was the son of Master P after all! Did I mention we totally made out in the back of the Suburban? Anyways, after a few hours of partying, I passed out in his bed (ALONE) and was awakened when he came into the room saying everyone had to leave because his grandpa was coming over. Big Romeo? I woke up so confused as to where I was and why his grandpa would be coming over at 5:00 in the morning but we all grabbed our things and piled back into the Suburban. I was freezing at this point because we were all still in our lingerie, so I swiped a Nike hoodie from his bedroom (I still have it to this day, thank you very much) and we headed back to Century City to that random parking garage. It was the worst walk of shame I have ever experienced as we hailed a cab at 6:00 in the morning back to my apartment.
I think I texted back and forth with Lil Romeo once or twice and that was it. Occasionally I will see him on a billboard or an ICDC College commercial rapping his little heart out (I die laughing) but other than that our relationship was over. But my one night of being ‘Big Juliet’ will live in infamy with my family and friends.